Talking of comebacks, Tiger Woods is ready to make his own later this month. He has hired old Bushy Ari Fleischer for repairing his tattered public image.

Having mistresses is almost an American tradition with many a Presidents engaging in it, most recently LBJ (without any scandals) and WJC (with all the scandals in the world). Why not poor old Woods?

Jones with Shock

Sprinter Marion Jones, who was stripped of her Olympic gold and other medals because of doping, has been recruited by WNBA’s Tulsa Shock.

The Shock, which fled Detroit last year much like most of the city’s population, is still suffering from a lack of star power and hopes to strike gold with Jones.

Let’s hope they don’t keep a supply of “clear” nearby.

The server that hosts the Global Observatory has been under distributed-denial-of-service (DDoS) attacks since around noon Monday, which explains why the site has either been down entirely or extremely slow over the past couple of days.

Last night, we undertook certain measures to mitigate the effects of the DDoS attacks, but the server is still under extreme strain. The site is presently up and running, but painfully slow at times. The last 2 articles were supposed to posted earlier yesterday but are only showing up today.

The next couple of days will show whether DDoS attacks have been circumvented by our current measures or if we have to do anything else.

Gotta Dodge This Viper

If you cared at all for the original Lake Placid, there’s a sequel going on right now in Maine. Some tool released his pet Gaboon viper on a trail in Maine. The viper is perhaps one of the most venomous snakes in the world, although not very aggressive.

Owning such a dangerous animal is already illegal in Maine. The guy who released the snake in a public place should be given first hand experience of its fangs and poison – that’ll teach him.

Fangs

Ackbar

The University of Mississippi, a tier-3 university according to U.S. News & World Report and not rising up, lost its old mascot, Colonel Reb, in 2006 when the administration discontinued it because of its perceived racist image.

Students at Ole Miss have now decided to recruit Admiral Ackbar to help them with their image issues. They have even set up a sophomoric website to support their cause.

Ackbar is a fictional character from Geoge Lucas’ renowned series and his most famous, and perhaps the only, lines in the Star Wars: Return of the Jedi were the following:

Lando Calrissian: Break off the attack! The shield is still up!
Wedge Antilles: I get no reading. Are you sure?
Lando Calrissian: Pull up! All craft, pull up!
Admiral Ackbar: Take evasive action! Green group, stick close to holding section MV-7!
Mon Calamari: Admiral! We have enemy ships in sector 47!
Admiral Ackbar: It’s a trap!

Apparently, he’s good at detecting traps. Perhaps the students want to warn prospies … Don’t enroll at Ole Mis, it’s a trap to take away your money and graduate you still uneducated!

Koua Fong Lee killed 3 and injured more in what was declared to be vehicular

Poor Fellow?

homicide in an accident in 2006 involving a Toyota Camry ‘96.

He has always proclaimed his innocence and has now seized upon the recent Toyota recall problems to further his case. Apparently, his victims also support him now.

Did you or someone you know killed someone with a Toyota? Hire a lawyer! You just might get the special Toyota edition Get Out of Jail Free card.

Not wanting to be left behind, GM is recalling its vehicles. Gotta be like the Japanese goes the thinking in Detroit. Chrysler up next?

Kern: He Looks Brutal

The jury in the case of plaintiff Michael Mineo found the police officers innocent of the sodomy charges, with a police baton no less, brought against them.

The officer accused of the crime, Richard Kern, has been accused of excessive force before. In 2007, the city settled with 2 men for $50,000.

In this case, a fellow cop, Kevin Maloney, went against his colleagues to testify that he saw Kern violate Mineo.

But the jury wasn’t allowed to take the first matter into consideration, despite the reality that Kern’s prior record of brutality has a direct connection with the case at hand. And, despite the fact that Maloney risked his career by snitching, the jury still acquitted Kern and his 2 accomplices.

No wonder, the American judicial system is considered a joke. On the one hand, convicted murderers are dying of old age on death row, and, on the other, brutal cops are getting away with anything they want.

Sometimes, Craigslist can be more than entertaining, as evidenced by this post:

Are you intimidated by winter driving? What the hell are you doing up here then? Do you know where you are? This isn’t the fucking jungle or desert.

You inevitably pull out in front of me when there’s no one behind me, and you could’ve waited another 15 seconds to not make anyone slam on their brakes on ice and snow. You then continue to drive really slow, say less than half the speed limit. No one in their right mind would pass someone on roads with a 2 ft snow drift in the median during a snow storm. So, I’m stuck behind you until you pull into whatever casino, bingo hall, party, or wherever you’re headed that’s OK be late to. Yes, I realize that driving on slippery roads and in low visibility can be scary, so I appreciate you driving within your limits. However, don’t pull out in front of a car when you know you’re not going to at least go the speed limit! Just wait another 30 seconds maybe (since you obviously aren’t in a hurry anyway), and you won’t ruin someone elses’ day. Also, when you see a line of cars 30-50 deep trapped behind you, you don’t have to speed up, no, but you SHOULD pull over to let some by. You’re obviously doing a really shitty job of setting the pace on this “not-safe-for-passing” road. Do us ALL a favor and let us get to our families, jobs, and real obligations, and pull the fuck over for fuck’s sake! It’s a common courtesy. If the shoulder has been replaced by a 14 ft wall of plowed snow (as we all know happens up here), find a decently plowed side road to pull on to for a minute. Don’t be surprised or offended when you get 25 middle fingers and 37 horns out of the 50 cars you fucked for the last hour and a half that are now passing you.

Here are some tips for you that will make both of our lives easier:

1. Your winter driving confidence will grow 10 fold if you get rid of that 1994 Buick front wheel drive and get something with all wheel drive. You don’t need a huge truck or SUV, but just something that actually gets some traction. Try a used Subaru. They’re all wheel drive, cheap, and fuel efficient.

2. Go practice in an empty parking lot, and see what exactly your limits are and those of your vehicle. You won’t get arrested for sliding around an empty parking lot Sunday evening outside of town.

3. You don’t want to give up your front wheel drive Buick? Get some snow tires! At least for the front two wheels, but better yet all of your wheels could use them. You will be amazed at what a good set of snow tires actually do for your driving and confidence. There’s a reason why they’re popular up here.

4. Wait until the last car passes before pulling on to the road. See above. Shit!

5. Stay the fuck home! Visibility to low? Too windy? Icy roads? Then don’t drive to the casino to lose another $200 bucks out of your $300 paycheck and jeopardize the roads for the rest of us. Stay home and watch game shows and beat your wife/husband/dog or whatever you sleep with at night.

6. Don’t like option #5? Take a cab! Believe it or not, these guys are good at winter driving. They do this for a living and they’re really quite nice people. Besides, the cab ride to the casino or bingo hall will only cost a fraction of what you’ll lose once you get there. Plus you save the embarrassment of getting flipped off by grandma in the Ford Expedition while passing you.

7. Move to the South. I bet you’d fit in there anyway. Not sure what their casino scene is like, but you’ll find some other unintelligent way to lose money. You can keep your Buick, too!

I realize the people who are actually the offenders are probably not going to read this, at least not many of them. First you have to get a computer. Then resist the urge to pawn it for casino money. If you know any of these assholes, tell them what you think about following them at 20 mph on Highway 41 or M28 for two goddamn hours. Thanks!

I’ll see you on the road!

Barack Obama seems to have abandoned another of his supporters’ pet issues – supporting nuclear power plants – by providing loan guarantees for the construction of 2 power plants in Georgia. Obama recognizes:

Make no mistake: whether it is nuclear energy, or solar or wind energy, if we fail to invest in these technologies today, we’ll be importing them tomorrow.

Interestingly though, the NYT almost immediately contradicted him by pointing out (was this an analysis piece or a news story, one wonders!):

But these reactors were designed by Westinghouse, a subsidiary of Toshiba, and many major components will be fabricated abroad. And nuclear power is of limited use in offsetting oil imports.

Although the U.S. is the world’s largest generator of nuclear power, nuclear reactors provide only 20% of electric output. If the U.S. wants to wean itself off coal, petroleum and natural gas in favor of a cleaner source of energy, nuclear power is the best bet.

At a recent speech by Michael Oren, the Israeli ambassador to the U.S., at the University of California at Irvine “raucous protesters” disrupted the ambassador prompting the arrests of 11 students and a whole lot of ill will.

The first issue is the unacceptable behavior of the students. Disrupting anybody’s speech is just plain rude and completely unbecoming of students at a university such as UCI. At a community college, a high school or at any other venue, this kind of behavior could be expected, but not at a so-called top tier university. I have seen orderly protests, which include picketing outside the venue and asking intelligent, pointed questions that get the point across. But, screaming at the speaker during speech? Unacceptable! If this is the kind of students who attend UCI, the institution might as well be called the Community College of California at Irvine.

The second issue is the stupid lecture by the faculty member trying to shame the students into behaving properly. Hey, if they could be shamed at all, they wouldn’t be behaving like this. These protesters are hardly civilized individuals – they can’t be swayed by speeches. A better option would be to quietly walk them out while ignoring the whole matter. But, making those stupid statements over and over again only show the person’s idiocy. This guy hardly deserves tenure.

Thirdly, towards the end (at 5:23 into the video), we can observe a professor telling his students how they should either withdraw from his class or expect to fail their examinations. Excuse me? Behavior outside class, however unacceptable, cannot and should not determine how a student performs in class. The expression of political opinions, again however inappropriate, should never be a metric in examination results. This guy, as above, does not deserve tenure.

Finally, all of the protests, inside or out, were political expressions – free speech protected by the Constitution’s First Amendment. Arresting anybody for shouting slogans is illegal. The arrest of students is even worse, especially when the university administration is involved in the charges. Free speech on the UCI campus is highly restricted as it is. This incident doesn’t do anything to improve the university’s tarnished reputation.

UCI will never be a great university.

Seriously?

Viva Leroy Nash, a prisoner on death row, has died of natural causes. After spending almost $2.43 million on him at $90,000 per year, taxpayers didn’t even recover a cent of that money by meting out punishment commensurate to his crimes.

The man has been convicted of crimes numerous times, including armed robbery, shooting of a police officer and murder after he had escaped from prison the last time. If anyone deserves to be hanged, it was Nash.

Heck, what’s the point of death row if its worst inmates die of natural causes?

Either hang ‘em or release ‘em into regular prisons. $90,000 per year per death row inmate is too much of an expense on the tax-payers’ dime.

The University of Cincinatti School of Law, a second tier public institution, is apparently quite desperate to recruit high caliber students. According to an email sent out a short while back, the admissions office is offering tips on obtaining residency status and saving money…

The cost of a legal education today has come under scrutiny in recent months due in part to the poor economy forcing many to evaluate their personal finances more closely than ever.

…  the University of Cincinnati College of Law wants you to be aware of a unique tuition discount available to our incoming law students … the GMR.

In 2009-2010 the GMR has enabled out-of-state residents to move to Northern Kentucky (just south of downtown Cincinnati across the Ohio River) anytime before the first day of class and pay tuition equal to in-state tuition plus a $240 annual surcharge.

This meant our first year students who moved to Northern Kentucky and applied for the GMR were paying $20,182 in tuition/fees instead of the non-Ohio resident tuition/fees rate of $34,776 – a savings of $14,594 in the first year of law school alone.

So, how does one qualify for this GMR you may wonder? Here is an example:

Janie Law from Colorado visits Cincinnati in June and finds a nice apartment in one of the 28 GMR qualifying counties in Northern Kentucky. She signs a lease with her landlord which enables her to move in on August 1. After the long drive from the Rockies, Janie unpacks and makes a few trips to Ikea in the northern suburbs to help furnish her new place. On August 5, she makes her way to the nearest Kentucky DMV office where she obtains her Kentucky driver’s license. She then goes online and prints out the GMR Application, which she then drops off along ! with a copy of her new license to the University Registrar’s Office 10 days before class begins. Now Janie is done and can enjoy her first year of law school, having saved thousands.

It is refreshing to see that at least one law school is recognizing the exorbitant cost of a legal education and actively offering ways to reduce expenses. This is sharp contrast to places like Indiana University which doesn’t even offer a streamlined process for acquiring residency and resulting reduction in tuition rates.

Almost 30 years after the American stealth jet F-117 Nighthawk was introduced in 1981, the Russian and Indian Air Forces are finally testing their own version of a stealth plane.

And, what a piece of junk…

“It’s just a prototype lacking new engines and a new radar,” military analyst Pavel Felgenhauer told the Associated Press news agency.

Originally scheduled for 2007, the T-50’s maiden flight was repeatedly postponed because of technical problems.

Observers of Russia’s recent military modernisation drive say it has been plagued by delays and quality problems.

Did Boeing have anything to do with the plane’s development?

Not Helping Toyota

Toyota became the world’s largest car-maker in early 2009, overtaking GM. Since then, the company has been plagued by constant problems, making a loss in 2009 and continued losses in the first half of fiscal year 2010. The latest is a global recall of many of its vehicles because of “sticky gas pedals.”

Ford, on the other hand, declared its first annual profit in 5 years, making $2.7 billion in 2009. The company was profitable in every region, with its credit arm also making money.

Now that Volkswagen-Porsche has officially overtaken Toyota, if only temporarily, it will be interesting to see how that company fares.

In his State of the Union address, the President proposed the following reforms for higher education:

To make college more affordable, this bill will finally end the unwarranted taxpayer subsidies that go to banks for student loans.  Instead, let’s take that money and give families a $10,000 tax credit for four years of college and increase Pell Grants. And let’s tell another one million students that when they graduate, they will be required to pay only 10 percent of their income on student loans, and all of their debt will be forgiven after 20 years –- and forgiven after 10 years if they choose a career in public service, because in the United States of America, no one should go broke because they chose to go to college.

Loan forgiveness is all well and good, but how about making more Stafford money available to students? These government loans are still stuck at a maximum of $20,500 per year while graduate school tuition rates alone have soared to an average of at least $31,000, with all other expenses additional.

Aww or Eww?

Arnold would be proud … another pregnant man.

Just another of those completely ridiculous public laws…

The law allows a person hurt by a rabid animal to seek a county’s help with the medical bills … the request must be made within four months of the bite…

In this terrible economy … rabid dogs (or, bats) are not that difficult to find are there?

The Boston Globe is now showing that Scott Brown has won with 52% of the vote with 79% reporting.

UPDATE:

I had never imagined I would see this day – a Republican winning Teddy’s Senate seat. Boy was I wrong!

While a Red Massachusetts at the Federal level is a distinct impossibility, we might still see a distinct purplish hue if we are believe this report of some worry in the Democratic camp of candidate Martha Coakley.

Who would you vote for? Scott Brown or Martha Coakley?

The Browns

The Coakleys

Do you prefer your venison killed by a semi or a pickup?

Conservationism and environmentalism runs amok in this country is evidenced by the case of a man who killed some tortoises on his property to build his house and faces 60 years in prison for his “crimes.”

If the state of Florida wants to protect some damn tortoises, it should pay for their relocation, not force every landowner to pony up cash (or face jail-time).

Over the past couple of years, we’ve seen Cloverfield and District 9 – sci-fi movies with tiny budgets that have made millions at the box office.

We now have another on the horizon from Uruguayan director Fede Alvarez… Sam Raimi has apparently picked up his short.

Aliens and superheros are probably the easiest way for Hollywood to avoid making movies with an actual storyline. When there are aliens and superheros romping around destroying NYC and DC, why do you need a screen play?

1200 limos, 140 private planes and caviar wedges… yep, that is the climate change conference in Copenhagen… changing the climate (for the worse) one place at a time.

Amanda Knox, courtesy NYT

Well, the outcome of the trial was hardly unexpected.

Once the Italians found a suspect, a foreigner, an American at that, they had to convict her.

European media was ever eager to condemn Knox as the:

“Foxy Knoxy”; uncaring, sexually rapacious and eager for a taste of life on the wild side; just the sort of young woman who might bewitch the accommodating Sollecito and come to detest her level-headed British flatmate

Aussies never seem to amaze me. A recent competition to find a suitable name for the 2010s has yielded the result…

One-Der

What?

The Regents of the University of California System have decided that they have had enough education in the Great State of California.

Raising tuition by 32% starting next year, the Regents have signaled their next move would be to rename the UC System to the University of North Mexico System.

FAMU Law

So, there was the tale of the free iTunes songs for applying to a particular law school.

Now, there’s another twist on the application process:

This Saturday, November 21, the gridiron showdown between Florida A&M University and Bethune-Cookman University in the 30th annual Florida Classic football game will be televised live nationally by ESPN Classic starting at 2:30 p.m. Eastern Time.  The appearance on ESPN Classic marks the sixth FAMU game televised during the Fall 2009 football season.     (www.floridaclassic.org)

Viewing the live broadcast will be a great way to help cheer for FAMU in case you won’t be able to attend FAMU College of Law’s Open House for Prospective Students which is being held as part of the Classic festivities.  The event is open to the public and will be followed by a tailgate party at the College of Law leading up to game time at 2:30 p.m. just blocks away from the law school. Read on »

That’s exactly what 2 New Jersey law firms are doing…

Freedman & Gersten in Hasbrouck Heights, N.J., claims it wired $236,659 to a company in South Korea based on a check that turned out to be fake, while Levitan & Frieland of Florham Park, N.J., has lodged similar allegations.

Freedman & Gersten is suing Bank of America, on whose assurances it says it relied when it deposited a $274,705 client check in its attorney trust account and wired most of the money overseas.

Bank of America is the villain. It is getting billions of dollars in tax payer bailout, and now it is scamming these poor, poor, innocent lawyers in New Jersey.

Off with Ken Lewis’ head!

(Really, it was a classic check scam).

Major Malik Nidal Hasan, resident psychiatrist at the Ford Hood military base, has turned upon his colleagues killing 12 soldiers and injuring another 31 shortly before they were scheduled to ship out to Iraq.

Crazy bugger.

A recent mail from a top 30 law school reads, in part:

Admit it, you’re an outstanding student!  You’re well aware that academic success requires work.  Often difficult and sometimes thankless work.  Isn’t it time your hard work earned you a few perks?

With this in mind, we encourage you to consider [dot dot dot].  In return, we’re making you an exclusive offer.

If you apply, we’ll:

1. Waive your application fee, and

2. Present you with 20 free music downloads on iTunes®

I hate iTunes. Can I get that for Zune instead?

UPDATE: Apparently, the university has been doing this since last year. WSJ blogged about it in October of 2008. I won’t say which school…

Some find public transport romantic, according to the BBC

The photograph on the left needs a new caption.

The gawking guy definitely finds the whole situation romantic, but not the poor lady on the left.

Why would anyone mistake this piece of rock for a toilet?

And you can’t blame the hikers, either…

“That’s [defecation on the rock] been going on for years,” he said.

“When people climb up the top of the rock there’s no toilet facilities up there.

“They’re sh**ting on a sacred site.”

The Global Observatory will be in a dormant state for the next few weeks, with only a few postings. We shall start anew in sometime in October.