My Dearest Comrade Supreme Leader,
I have been such a fan of your work since I was a college student – it is such an honor to be able to write to your eminence today in my humble role as the President of the United States. Your unfailing ability to maintain a strong and successful Communist government inspires me every day to strive to create a socialist regime in our country. I wish to meet you in person to discuss my plans for a new socialist government in Washington.
When I was a young man, I thought life was all about me—about how I’d make my way in the world, become successful, and get the things I want. But then I saw the movies inspired during your time at the Propaganda and Agitation Department, especially the Five Guerrilla Brothers and other operatic adaptations of the Eternal President’s works. I was truly inspired by the policy of juche instituted by your father, the Eternal President, and greatly developed and expanded by your eminence, and your policy of making bureaucrats work among workers at the next subordinate level.
I want our economy to follow your policies of self-reliance and inter-dependence. I am guided by your principle that man is the master of everything and decides everything. I have read your book ” The Juche Philosophy Is an Original Revolutionary Philosophy” many times.
I know it will be difficult to institute the ideal system in our country but I am hopeful. With your guidance and wishes, I hope to succeed very soon.
My evil capitalist colleagues are forcing me to discuss with you North Korea’s plans to establish nuclear independence. I feel that you are right in your insistence to firmly establish North Korea as the most powerful country in the world and I would do anything to assist you in your quest.
I humbly request you to agree to restarting six-party peace talks to give me an opportunity to make your acquaintance in person.
At your service,
Barack
