Dana Elaine Owens, aka Queen Latifah, has revealed to the journos that she was abused sexually as a child by a teenage baby sitter. She says:
“He violated me…I never told anybody; I just buried it as deeply as I could and kept people at an arm’s distance.”
When she informed her parents:
“My mother felt terrible… When I told my dad, he said nothing.”
If my little girl had been sexually abused by an errant youth, would I just say “nothing”? Would it end at feeling “terrible”?
Sexually abusing anyone is a major sin, illegal, morally perverse, and ethically unacceptable. Sexually abusing any child is far worse. Sexual abuse by someone in-charge of, or in authority over, a child, such as a baby-sitter, a priest, a parent or a teacher, is entirely unforgivable and cannot be justified under any circumstances. Not doing anything about such sexual abuse is almost as bad. Feeling “terrible” is no course of action.
At the heart of the matter, I feel that the parents are to blame for Owens’ suffering. They did not perform the necessary due diligence before hiring the young man to look after her. They did not make an attempt to find out why she grew aloof. Any child being sexually abused will display certain classic symptoms that should become apparent to any concerned parent. You don’t need a psychiatrist or psychologist to figure out that something is wrong with your child. Certain behavior cannot just be attributed to age or puberty.
Yet, Mr. and Mrs. Owens did not make any efforts to investigate the causes of any changes in her behavior. Parents have started keeping their children at such a distance from themselves, that children don’t even consider their parents to be their friends and confidants. Parents in the West subscribe to the misinformed philosophy of child independence.
Is independence more important for a child than a normal childhood not destroyed by sexual abuse? Is independence more important than not having the rest of your life ruined? Would you rather have your child live a normal life than be “independent” growing up?
The answer is apparent. Independence is just not worth it. Parents simply need to make an attempt to establish and maintain strong relationships of love and mutual understanding. But, of course, something like this would be too revolutionary for anyone to accept in most of the West. Traditional Italians, Irish, Eastern Europeans, Asians, South Asians, Africans and Hispanics differ – they believe that loving your child and maintaining strong and close relationships with them are normal.
Had parents been more careful in the case of Owens, and the thousands of kids abused by their priests and teachers, we wouldn’t have this perversity still going on in this society.
The sexual abusers are wrong, but the parents are just as complicit, by not protecting their children enough.
