In a YouTube video released Thursday, Michael Steele, Chairman of the RNC, announced that the GOP was to be completely revamped and re-launched on July 1, 2009, as the Scandalous Old Party (SOP).
Steele: Looking to the Future
“After several days of gut-wrenching and heart-wrenching discussions over the future of the Republican Party, the National Committee has decided to rename the party to better reflect the true nature and predispositions of its elected officials,” revealed Steele.
“A new pre-requisite for contesting SOP primaries would be a scandalous background, such as extra-marital affairs, bribe-taking, sexual perversion, and so on, or, at the very least, a desire to engage in such activities once elected.”
After the statements, Steele was joined on-screen by the Political Math/Ten Thousand Pennies guy who appeared beside him singing “So, so, so scandalous … That’s why you know you should be scared of us,” apparently taking cue from the background music provided by Mis-Teeq’s hip-hop hit Scandalous.
Visual Aids for Dummies
The duo then proceeded to demonstrate how many pennies it would take to repair the reputation of the Republican Party. The purse strings of the party not being in Steele’s hands anymore, however, they were forced to use an odd mixture of puppy photos, random coins collected from party staffers, driving distances from NYC and old footage to create a visual presentation that would have made Rodney Dangerfield proud.
In other political news, a leaked Democratic party memo revealed Howard Dean’s secret desire to join the Republican Party. “What with free houshold improvements, sexy escorts and affairs with hot campaign staffers, Republicans have it good. The GOP is a happenin’ place, boys and girls,” read the memo.
A spokesman for Dean refused to comment, but was later observed hurriedly entering RNC headquarters on First Street.
