the Global Observatory

Dr. Kim Laughing at Dartmouth

Dr. Jim Yong Kim, Korean-born Harvard Medical School official and newly appointed President of Dartmouth College in Hanover, NH, is being aggressively courted by officials from both South and North Korea before he makes his final decisions about the future of the College.

During his acceptance speech in March, Kim outlined his plans to build “on the many achievements of Jim Wright and his predecessors that have made Dartmouth the vibrant, world-class institution it is today” and to “help build on Dartmouth’s great traditions as well as its singular role in higher education.”

According to Kim, the first steps include “taking sides” in the great battle between the mighty forces of communism and capitalism on the Korean peninsula and renaming Dartmouth College to represent its new alignment.

High-level officials from North Korea and the South Korea have been lobbying him hard to support their respective side. “We vow to establish the Democratic People’s Republic of Dartmouth to bring the benefits of communism to the shores of evil capitalism,” said the North Korean representative in a joint interview. The South Korean emissary countered by claiming that the “Republic of Dartmouth” would more accurately represent the mission of the College.

Kim has not made any announcements as to which side would win his favors as of yet. “He’s not sure. He is, however, leaning towards DPRD as Jim Wright and his recent predecessors have shown many autocratic and socialist tendencies and he wishes to carry on their traditions,” according to a source familiar with the matter.