Bill Clinton, a former President of the United States, was frankly outraged and quite disappointed that Hillary Clinton, the current Secretary of State, only fractured her elbow during a fall Wednesday, according to sources familiar with the matter.
Clinton: Not Too Happy
“I was hoping to move back into the White House for another 12 years. That bitch couldn’t even beat that [explicit] in the primaries. Then, she couldn’t convince the boys to appoint her Veep. I would have liked the Naval Observatory – can you imagine a constant supply of hot naval chicks?
“And, now, this. If she had been more seriously injured and admitted to the hospital for a few days, I could have enjoyed some guiltless debauchery without her constant prying. Ever since Monica, I haven’t been to have fun when she’s around. The only consolation has been her regular travel.
“But, no, she had to go and only injure her elbow. I am very disappointed, again,” Clinton was overheard saying to his buddies over drinks at his favorite club in Washington.
According to the same sources, Clinton has given an ultimatum to his beloved wife: she’d better create a serious enough crisis to oust Obama in the 2011 primaries or, at the very least, replace that Biden fellow in 2012, or else face divorce.
In international news, an advertisement looking for “chubby, sexual interns” regularly placed in Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea, newspapers has been traced to an Honorary Grand Commander of the Order of Logohu and was paid for in US Dollars.
Clinton, who is a member of that elite grouping, has made several covert trips to the Pacific Ocean nation in recent months. A spokesman for the Clinton Foundation refused to comment on this developing story.
